Unfortunately I didn't feel that way so much at first..I will tell the story. It's pretty cool!
So I had been waiting for the moment to be called as a sister missionary for so long, and the day came (March 21 I believe) where that big white envelope arrived!
I talked to so many people while waiting for its arrival, and of course, about missions. A lot of people asked, "Well usually a missionary can kind of "sense" where they are going to go, where do you think you will go?" I would always answer, "I don't know, wherever the Lord wants me to be!". I tried sooo hard not to have any expectations. I would do a lot of self talk and say, "Look girl, you are going to be called exactly where you are suppose to serve, and you call is inspired by the Lord. NO EXPECTATIONS." But when I wasn't thinking about that, I would yearn for a foreign mission...somewhere over seas. I wanted the challenge! If I were to honestly answer my friend's and neighbor's questions...I could have really seen myself somewhere like Guatemala, Samoa, Spain, Chile, or the Philippines. I just have this huge passion for culture and people and learning new things. So I was totally up for sitting in the dirt, sweaty, with my scriptures, teaching the gospel.
My friend James talked to me before I got my call and said, "Molly, I think you're going state side. You just had major surgery and they might want to keep an eye on you. Like my dad, he broke his neck before his mission and went state side." I thought to myself, what does that have to do with it?! You're call is inspired. Plus, my surgery was a one-time, non-risky thing that no one needs to worry about. I got a medical release saying I am perfectly functional and capable to go anywhere in the world. But then I would start the self talk again and just have faith that the Lord knows what's best for me, and what mission would be best for me.
So...I opened the call...and I laughed while rocking back and forth in my chair. I thought, "The south. Really? I would have NEVER guessed that!" My whole family was so excited for me, and I was just kind of shocked for a bit. I hate to say this, but I questioned my call. I was just hoping a little too much for a different name of a country to be typed on that letter.
So still feeling a little crazy and shocked I got ready for bed that night, and sat down and opened my scriptures. I read just the next chapter in the Book of Mormon that I was in. The Lord really does hear and answer prayers, He knew what I was going through and he was mindful of me and what I was feeling. It reads in Alma 29: 3, 6-9
3 But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.
6 Now, seeing that I know these things, why should I desire more than to aperform the work to which I have been called?
8 For behold, the Lord doth agrant unto ball nations, of their own nation and ctongue, to teach his word, yea, in wisdom, all that hedseeth fit that they should have; therefore we see that the Lord doth counsel in wisdom, according to that which is just and true.
9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do anot bglory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.
Can you say WOW? I knew He was talking right to me. I felt the spirit so strongly, and immediately got down on my knees and asked for forgiveness for ever second guessing my Heavenly Father. When my roommate Jenna walked in, and I told her, "I HAVE JUST BEEN CHASTISED!" Haha, I had been. But it was amazing. I am so grateful for that experience, and I will share it for the rest of my life. Immediately after I was filled with love and happiness and excitement to serve my mission, because I know now that it IS MY mission. Heavenly Father confirmed to me that Tennessee is exactly where I need to be. And I am SO excited to leave! I know He will show me exactly why the Tennessee, Nashville mission is the best possible mission for me as I serve the people there, and it will be everything that I need/want it to be. My heart is filled with love already!
Conference is my FAVORITE time of year. It was beautiful as always and I learned so much. I took a lot of notes. Not once did I feel tempted to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of their voices! Our prophet and leaders are so inspired. I loved every talk and could feel the spirit teach me as I carefully listened, and felt more and more excitement to be a missionary. I know it will change my life.
Big things are happening this week. I already got to spend time with my brother who came down to visit for 10 days, and now my sister Mandy is here so that we could take a quick snap of a picture of all the siblings, and also to support me as I take one big step this week. All I can say is, HOW AWESOME IS LIFE?! I really couldn't be more humbled and content.
And that's all I have to say! Love to all!
Hermana Davis
